Death and Life, in that order

There is a verse in the Bible, "I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat is planted in the soil and dies, it remains alone. But its death will produce many new kernels--a plentiful harvest of new lives. (NLT)", that points out that unless something is buried and dies, it remains just singular. But in allowing the seed to be planted, then the option for life, expanded and multiplied life, occurs. 

I experienced a kind of death. I'd sent my last child to college, left her there, planted at culinary school. I thought I'd handled things well, until we'd finally arrived home on September 30; that's when I wanted to dig up the "seed" and see if it was growing, taking root. Not being there with my daughter, hearing all of her wonderful and insightful commentaries on everything going on with her life, left me feeling bereft, adrift and somewhat without focus. I was exhausted, beyond myself. My husband hugged me, made tea, listened, watched with genuine concern. (I love that guy!)

She's not my only child; I have four, one is still living at home (although not for much longer.) But this one, this is my youngest, the one most like myself, no less, the "baby". If all four of my kids read this, they'll understand I love them all equally and individually. I love who they've all become and are becoming. But this particular change has been different than when they struck out on their own. When they left, I always knew I still had this one at home to pour into. (And no, the new dog does not replace the youngest kid.)

So, September 30 I felt a little bit of me had died. It was hard. I just needed to go to bed. I have found when dealing with death, the best thing for me is sleep. Sleep allows me to put things away and start anew the next day. Sleep is such a blessing. And on the other end of my sleep that night was October 1, a day of birth and life. 

Nine years ago on October 1, I left being a stay at home Mom of 21 years, and entered business ownership. I opened a cart business in the mall and proceeded to work at least 13 hours a day, 7 days a week, for the next 15 months. After a few days into this new schedule, my husband sat my then 9-year old daughter down and told her they needed to make a menu and make meals or they were all going to starve, or something to that effect. Our youngest had already shown a propensity for the kitchen at an early age, so this idea didn't seem out of place. 

Sometimes our life's path doesn't make sense. I have wondered at times why on earth I jumped on that business so fast, why God allowed me to take that path, which was both fulfilling and painful. So many times it hasn't made sense and I've wanted to turn back the wheels of time and do over, deleting that action. However, today I have skills I never had before. Why? because I learned hard lessons. And those hard lessons prepared me for my current employment and promotions and positions within that employment. My husband retired early. If I hadn't gone that route, what income would our family have at this point in our lives? So many variables, so many questions, so many lessons.

So, on October 1, 2006, whether she knew it or not, a chef was beginning to be produced out of necessity. Mom stepped aside, doing her own thing, right or wrong, and God was molding something in a young girl that would take her places unexpected by her family nine years later. October 1, 2013, that girl took her first culinary courses at the Oregon Coast Culinary Institute (http://www.occi.net/), a birthday of sorts. I'm celebrating!

I'll finish off with another Bible passage, Psalms 124:3-5a: …3Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward. 4Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one's youth. 5How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them;".

Today, I'm a proud and happy Mama. I have four wonderful adult kids, all going in so different and right directions for each of them. I am looking forward to the times to come, and the unfolding of more treasures for each of them. One does not supersede the other. One is not more talented or more important than the other. One is not more loved than another. One's purpose is not greater than the others'. 

It's a new day. It's a new life. Fly straight and true. 

And oh yeah, your Mom. @;-D